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| You who choose, to lead must follow,
but if you fall you fall alone,
if you should stand then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.
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| paradise city gave me many fruits, mmm fruits, god that smelled good.
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| well this is a change from myspace. i'm not so sure how i'm supposed to write in xanga's, or what. i'm not so sure anyone ever knew my myspace, or still does. i know i have not signed on in a long while and i'm not so sure i've ever written anything that has ever had any meaning. i'm not even sure i'll do that today, i'm not quite determined, or frustrated enough to do anything like that.
i'll tell you though, it is july and i've yet been to the beach. or in the water i should say, i've been down there. and i've been to the pool but i really hate the idea of a pool, a fake beach. it bores me, and i find it incredibly stupid to waste my time there.
music has taken over my life. it has since the beginning of this year, or maybe even last year. but everyday i get more and more sucked in to the music. i have always and will always idolize the beatles, as i can never deny their greatness. i have found a few new bands, or maybe their new, i'm not sure. anyway i've found some that i enjoy that aren't so old. and i even found a new woman musician i enjoy. this, never happens. her name is feist and she is a beast on guitar. oh yes and the other band is from lebanon, their name is beirut. i would suggest checking them out. but the beatles, beirut, feist, and of course the who. george john paul and ringo have some great solo work. oh, and of course elton john, bob dylan... david bowie. i really could go on and on but there is no use. no one is reading this and i have to keep reminding myself of that.
ah so yes, life. i'm not sure how i've been lately, nothing too horrible has happened and i don't plan on trying to make anything bad happen but i think life can be exciting while also being boring sometimes. well yes i'm not sure how that happens either. but on days i'll wake up at maybe 12, read a few pages in those books i'm supposedly reading and then sit and listen to music or fiddle with my guitar. i dream of being really good but i know that really will be an impossible dream as i have no reason to be good.
well besides pleasing myself of course...
so i am painting my room too. darker, a grey color. it will look beautiful, especially compared to the horrible green color it is now. as i look at it, i almost want to throw up.
anyway. let me see, do i have any problems to tell my computer/companion. i suppose my weight has and will always be an "issue". i want to be skinny like a model, or like some amazing rock musician, but for some reason i really love food and i'm stuck at this average shit of myself. i do enjoy how i look otherwise, i don't think i'm very unlucky. and i have most definitely seen far worse.
i have no love interests, or any that are worth naming. though i do love to flirt, or not. i love to kiss too but as i get into more serious sex sex sex i hate the thought of being pregnant. so maybe i will just never have another "serious" or not, boyfriend. maybe i'll be a prostitute. but first i need birth control..
ahh yes. i think i am done writing. i have a horrible pain in my leg, maybe i am growing. most likely not, most likely i have just a simple pain in my leg that may very well amount to some sort of issue in a good three decades.
goodbye, goodbye.
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| I was exposed to many religious arguments on the
pierhead, and I came to the conclusion that 'God' is just the word
'good' with 'o' taken out, and 'Devil' is the word 'evil' with a 'D'
added. Really, all that people have done throughout history is to
personify the two forces of Good and Evil. And although they've given
them many names - like Jehovah or Allah - I've got a feeling that it's
all the same.
One memorable thing of importance
happened when I was about eleven. My mum and dad and my brother and I
went to Butlins holiday camp. I have a photograph of me there in short
trousers and school blazer - a chubby little kid. (You would never wear
your school uniform going on holiday, but I think it was al I had - my
posh gear.) My brother took the picture. I'm in front of a hot-dog
corner, which we thought was dead hip: an American hot-dog stand!
So I was standing there in my
school cap and everything, on a roasting hot day near the swimming
pool, when out of the Calypso Ballroom came five guys from Gateshead.
And they all looked alike. They each had on a little tartan flat cap,
with a grey crewneck sweater, tartan shorts, pumps, and carried white
towels under their arms. They walked in a line across to the pool to
have a good old swim and I noticed everyone's heads turn and go: 'WHO'S
THAT?' In that second a penny dropped for me and I realized the power
of looking something. They won the talent contest at Butlins that week for whatever they did - and you just knew that they would win.
; paul mccartney
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| RIP STEVE IRWIN 
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